Five things I can tell you about weather

The old, the arthritic and the plated. We are the triumvirate of aches and pains. Members of this secret club have a hidden super power; we can predict the weather with just a twinge of a kneecap of an ache in the shoulder. Never make a polite passing comment on the weather to one of our number lest we regale you for an age on the ways in which the weather can strike us down with just the wrong type of drizzle.

Five things that post-accident I can tell you about the weather:

1. I am more accurate that the weather forecast when it comes to approaching rain

2. Warm, dry weather makes my mobility at least 75% better, however…

3. …Too much sunshine makes my foot and ankle puff up like a Victorian gent with gout

4. When cold, the bits of me that are metal plated are noticeably colder to the touch and retain an inner core of ice long after the rest of me warms up. As you can imagine, it is a great passion enhancer when your limbs have the feel and pallor of a dead kipper.

5. Dartmoor (or as we colloquially refer to it: “living in a cloud”) has the worst possible weather for any arthritis suffer with the constant mizzle seeping into joints.

I am going to be crowd-funding for a relocation to a perfect climate, I’m thinking Australia or New Zealand perhaps , I’m sure you’ll all be happy to bung me a tenner…

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